So often I find myself staring at this screen. A million stories to tell and no words appropriate to truly share my feelings. I would love nothing more than to tell the world what it's like to find out your soldier is injured and to talk about the first few moments I had with J.R. To explain frustrations that came early on in my time here at Walter Reed. Yet every time I sit down to write an instant block forms in my head. My brain is ready to push forward but a big part of my heart is still focused on December 19th.
Last night I held my husbands hand and I cried. I cried. (Yes Mom I said that.... it does happen once in a while but I'm never admitting that again so don't get use to it) It is not just the soldiers that are taken on a blind emotional roller-coaster never knowing when the crest of the hill has approached and the pit of the valley awaits. The anger and frustration that my husband feels everyday about his injuries I feel as well. For the first moment in our lives time is against us. Unsure of what the future will bring we are left to sit in our cracker box and wonder. Where will we be in two months, three months, or a year? Will the military really take care of us? What job will he find when we return home? When will we tumble into the next canyon and how on earth will we claw our way out?