Friday, November 30, 2007
Whatever virus I picked up is still hanging on. It just can't seem to go away. I finally have my voice back but it's still on the scratchy side. It's not quite up to singing standards yet. Ask J.R. and he'll tell you it's torture to listen to me attempt to sing Christmas songs right now. I am constantly coughing up more and more crud from my chest. My nose has produced and unnatural amount of mucus. The only plus side to the constant blowing is that my holiday kleenex box is going to be used up just in time to buy another one for this season. :)
School is winding down and the next couple of weeks are tense. I have a speech to prepare and I'm actually VERY excited about this one. I know I have a lot of prep work to do so pacing myself on this one is going to be a pretty big deal. I'm hoping this weekend I can get the big chunk of data figured out for it. Then I can begin to make my graphs and slide show. After all of that is done I can finally WRITE the presentation. It should be good.
Anyway, today is busy and my shower is calling my name. I still have to get my pay check, drive to Eau Claire, pay rent, deposit my check, drive back to Menomonie, go to Wal-Mart, and be ready to work at 3:30. Not fun.
As for all of you ladies at the spousebuzz conference.... you suck.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
...... I'm moving to Fiji.
I returned home to Wisconsin last night. My apartment... it's still messy. I was so hoping that things would just magically take care of themselves when I was gone but apparently that didn't happen. I'm hoping that with Christmas break approaching we can finally sit down and sort things and get the apartment back to normal. Wouldn't that be nice.
As for today, I'm spending my day in the public library catching up on homework. I've discovered the following about the public library:
1. Parking is free
2. It's a hell of a lot warmer in here than at Stout's library
3. It has a view of the lake which is relaxing
4. There is a never ending supply of interesting people to watch and think "what the hell were they smoking before coming to the library."
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Now even though I may not have a voice I haven't been sitting around on the couch. When you only get home once or twice a year you have to make the most of it. I spent the last two nights out with friends... attempting to talk over the music at the bar. It didn't work very well but made for some very interesting attempts at sign language. Being from a small town I think I ran into half of my graduating class at the bar. It's always interesting when the question of "so what have you been up to since graduation?" comes back to me. Hmm lets see... I got married, I live in the middle of nowhere, Wi, and my husband got blown up. It's always an interesting reaction but it's the best way to sum up my life in the last few years. I did feel semi fortunate for not having a voice.. it was a great excuse to not go into detail about what life after war is like. I appreciate that my friends are concerned but sometimes a girl just needs a beer and a dance.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
I'm leaving shortly to head up to Hayward, Wi to spend the day with J.R.'s family. J.R. will be joining me around "nine or ten." In J.R. language this is more likely midnight or later. :)
The guys will be hunting in the early hours of the morning. I plan on spending my morning either sleeping or watching the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade. We'll see if I haul my sick ass out of bed in time for that (yep.. still sick). After lounging about for most of the morning we will then head up to Grandma Mary's for some delicious food. Maybe at this family meal J.R. and I will behave and not throw food at each other. Maybe.
I'm pretty geeked about spending some time at home over the holidays. I haven't made it home in the same week of a holiday in a while. Being that I live so far away I rarely see old friends from school. My best friend Becca will also be home for one of the days I will be there. We rarely cross paths as she is busy in Ohio going to school and I'm living in the middle of nowhere. And even though we talk all the time nothing beats a hug from your best friend.
From bottom to top: Me, Becca, Paul, John, Katy (red hair), and Beth (brown hair)
This is an old picture of all of us but... let me give you the breakdown... Me, Paul and Beth are siblings. Becca, John, and Katy are all siblings. Together we are family.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Today has been boring. I hate being sick. I watched three hours of Cheerleading U on the WE channel. Now I didn't watch this because I enjoy cheerleading, but because the remote was sitting on the love seat and I felt crummy enough that standing up to get it just wasn't going to happen. So I sat there and tried to sleep. Unsuccessful.
After running a fellow student to Walgreens to pick up her prescription (she cried on the phone... I'm a sucker for crying), I returned home and decided it was time to crawl into bed. Relief at last. Three whole hours of sleep. J.R. even came into the room and checked on me a couple times and offered to get me a glass of ice water. I was pretty geeked about this. He's taken very good care of me. I even managed to get a short neck massage out of him!!
As the evening went on J.R. began to work on tech ed homework and the tv in the living room was distracting him. Taking his hint that I was driving him up the wall I drew a hot bath and moved into the tub. I also took with me my laptop and Nip/Tuck on DVD. Three episodes, two hours, and two smooth legs later (there is nothing like smooth legs when you don't feel good) I decided to emerge from the tub and make my way to the bedroom. I've been in the bed ever since. I'm hopeful that tonight some relief will come in the form of sleep. Good sleep. I have a feeling it's wishful thinking as my fever is starting to climb back up. Maybe tonight is a good night for some motrin and simply sleep.
Tomorrow J.R. has appointments at the VA. In my desperation to go but my guilty conscious about spreading a virus to senior veterans, I may make a fashion statement and wear the ever so sexy face mask. I hate being sick.
Yesterday I spent my day working. I felt great when I woke up in the morning. I even had a great day at work. I laughed, joked around, and was energetic the whole day. Towards the end of the shift, a fellow coworker stopped in and asked if I would be able to cover part of her shift tomorrow so she could go to the doctor for a sinus infection. I agreed and told her to call me later in the evening to firm up what time I needed to be in. She called at six and feeling OK, I agreed to work.
Seven pm rolls around and I'm working on dinner. I started to notice my throat was hurting a little bit but blew it off as sympathy pain for Jacque. Eight pm and I'm eating dinner... definitely in pain. J.R. called and asked if I could come unload wood with him. It was snowing and cold and I felt miserable. Something told me to not push it so feeling guilty I sat on the couch and watched tv. By the time he returned home at nine I was in the bath tub with the water as hot as it could go yet still freezing cold. By ten my throat was swollen and covered in white gunk. My neck hurt so bad I didn't even want to be touched. I decided to make a bed out of blankets on the laundry room floor so that I could sleep without being moved. That didn't go over so well with J.R. He made me move to the bed at midnight. I tossed and turned all night long. Every move of my neck created a sharp pain. By two am my fever hit 99.7. By five am 100.7. I'm curled up on the couch in a pair of sweat pants, sweat shirt, big fluffy cashmere robe, two fleece blankets, one knit blanket, and I'm still cold. I don't even want to know what the fever is at now. When I stand my stomach is in pain. Almost like a pulled muscle kind of pain. Just moving from the bed to the couch this morning was miserable. Don't even get me started on the headache and how my eyes feel.
I HAVE to get an appointment today. If I can't find a doctor then I'm going to immediate care. In under twelve hours I went from perfectly ok to incredibly sick. This can't wait. J.R. has class all day today too. I guess this means I have to be a big girl and drive myself to the doctor. Shitty.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Just one more reason why we need a house with a man room. :)
*And for anyone that is upset that J.R. shot Bambi, you just have to realize that here in the north woods it's a part of life don't cha know.
With J.R. gone for the weekend I'm suddenly faced with two nights by myself. I'm paranoid, jumpy, and am having a few issues falling asleep. I don't understand this. I went from October of 2005 to December of 2006 living by myself and I did just fine. I even slept with all the lights off in that time. So why now am I freaking out over stupid stuff? Just for comfort I'm leaving the living room lights on tonight.
Anyway, my bed has clean sheets on it and I'm more than excited to slip under the covers. There is nothing like clean sheets.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
I am desperately trying to catch up on homework from the last week. All of my teachers have been understanding that life got in the way a bit and have given me a few extensions. Which is great, except now I have piles of homework. Not so great.
I have to say thank you to everyone who is showing support over the last couple weeks. I feel as if I've been so down lately and so whiny but I can't help it. It's just one of those ruts I'm stuck in. I'm hopeful it will improve... soon.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
This song really sums up life right now. There is so much going on but through it all I have to keep breathing and I have to keep pushing forward.
There are so many conflicts going on inside my head. It can be a challenge to push the thoughts and feelings to the back of my mind and move forward with my responsibilities for the day. If I wasn't able to find a way to bundle them up and hide them when I have to, then the stress that comes from these emotions would be completely debilitating and I would get nothing done.
In the last week, my stress was debilitating. What can I say... I'm not wonder woman (even though I like to think I am).
I hate what has happened to my family. This wasn't suppose to be my family. This was suppose to be the other guy. I hate that I have to sit back and watch J.R. struggle with everything. If it's not a physical struggle, it's a mental one. I hate that I can't help him. I hate that I can't comprehend what he's feeling.
I know that we are still in an adjustment phase and eventually we will settle in. It just seems as if it's taking forever.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
I need to disappear for a bit. Life has thrown a curve ball at me and I didn't exactly keep my eye on it. Such is life I suppose.
However, life moves on and with time things will be OK. Something always works out in the end.
Keep checking on me, I'm not gone forever.
Friday, November 9, 2007
If this is destiny we were given to many shit cards and I would like us to get a new hand.
If one believes in karma than somewhere in life we really fucked up and now it's pay back.
If you believe everything happens for a reason, than WHY is this happening. I can't see the bigger picture just yet and I'm getting a little frustrated. What are we suppose to be learning from all of this besides life isn't always fair? What do we do with that knowledge? Make a sign and stand by the side of the road? That will take us far.
And if one believes in God than you have to stop and ask why has He brought us here. Are we being punished for not going to church? Are we suppose to be learning something and passing it on to the rest of the world? A little help here would be nice and I don't see Him handing it out like candy at the moment.
Why J.R.? Why me? Why our family? Why not someone else? It's such a horrible thing to say but it's such an honest feeling.
I want his arm back, and since I can't have that than all I'm asking for is his smile to return. His real smile, not one that he glues on for the world to see. I want him to see himself as I see him. As a husband who is capable of anything. As a complete man. As a whole person. As someone who is intelligent and has so much to give the world.
We've been to hell and we are exhausted from the climb back out. We're both frustrated, and tired, and moody, and pissed off at the world. We fight. We make mistakes. It's life and it keeps moving forward.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Last week J.R. created his very own prosthetic attachment. It's the first one he's made and I think it's fabulous. And although I'm not a huge fan of sponges (I hate smearing germs around) I'll let him get away with using these if it means he'll wash the dishes. I'll just be obsessivly microwaving the end of the wand for five minutes everyday to kill the germs. It's an odd obsession.
In other prosthetic news, check out this video of Brian's new legs.
Brian and his fiance Mary lived at Fisher House with us at WRAMC. I'm happy to report that they are FINALLY out of D.C. and moving on to a more "normal" life. I can only hope he is making good use of his new feet and that Mary is learning to keep up.
Now as far as last night goes, we all made it home safe and sound from the bar. I even made it up in time for my eight am sociology class. Just thought I'd share a picture that was taken at the end of the evening.
Thanks to everyone that stopped by and wished me a happy birthday! It certainly was enjoyable.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
There was an elderly woman who slowly made her way up to the counter when her number was called. After approaching the counter, the DMV employee began to explain to her that she failed her written drivers test... AGAIN. She was also told that she only managed to correctly identify a few of the road signs on the test and that if she wanted a license she would need to study harder. Then they smiled and told her they would see her tomorrow at the same time. This makes me nervous.
I made it through the lines (it only took an hour!) and I finally have my HORIZONTAL license. I even have a nice picture on my license! J.R. can't figure out why I care what I look like on a stupid picture (men!). After twenty minutes of trying to explain to him WHY it was important I finally gave up and resorted to teasing him that some of us aren't ancient and still get carded. He didn't have much to say after that. Sometimes you gotta hit below the belt to win the match. And no, I don't think J.R. is ancient but when you're seven years younger you gotta poke fun.
Dad had knee surgery this morning. Mom called a while ago to report that everything went well. I made sure to quiz Dad down yesterday about his pain management plan (something I never would have thought of prior to J.R. being injured). The doctors agreed to give him a pain pump so hopefully that will help this time around.
Other than that no news is good news. Tonight we celebrate! We are having dinner with a big group of friends at a Mexican joint so it should be a great time. I'm sure there will be pictures... which I'm HORRIBLE about posting. I still owe you guys a post on prosthetic tinkering. I'll get to it someday.
Monday, November 5, 2007
When our men and women fight overseas their jobs back home are protected BY LAW.
Did you also know...
When a spouse or family member drops everything to care for a soldier injured in the line of duty that they are only granted THREE months of family medical leave.
After family medical leave is used up the employer no longer has to hold the employees position.
If you or someone you know has lost their job (or fought to keep their job) while caring for a soldier injured in OEF/OIF PLEASE contact me ASAP at firstname.lastname@example.org.
More to come on this topic... (I feel like one of those commercials on T.V.)
Friday, November 2, 2007
Really... It's ok. I'm only a wife. I've obviously done NOTHING to serve our country.
I returned from class and allowed my stomach to think for me. I made a plate of fries, drowned them in cheddar cheese, and dipped in ranch dressing. All while drinking a beer at 9 am. Why? Because I live in Wisconsin and this is considered socially acceptable behavior here in the north woods. When J.R. asked me why I was drinking a beer at 9 am I informed him that it was "practice" for this Tuesday (my 21st birthday). To this remark he shrugged his shoulders and told me not to complain when I "have a huge ass." We're such a loving couple. :)
Only half an hour later I found this article waiting for me on foxnews. It provides yet one more reason to drink a beer. I love it.
As for the rest of the day, J.R. is currently working on making a prosthetic attachment that will help him move lumber. This shouldn't take very long. After he's finished we are leaving for Hayward where we will load up and move his storage unit back down here to Menomonie. I'm so excited (hear the sarcasm?). I remember very clearly what it took to move everything INTO that unit. My body hurt for a number of days.
Depending on what time we return home tonight I may get around to uploading some pictures of J.R.'s first prosthetic attachment that he made (it's for washing dishes!!!). I also have a video of Brian's new feet which show the wonderful advancements in prosthetic legs. Watch for the post tonight or tomorrow morning.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
"Hey Josie, I was wondering if you could work from 5-9 tonight for me. My dog is super sick and I need to get her to the vet."
Say no. Just say no. It's your day off. You can't say no. You have nothing actually on the agenda for today. If your dog was sick you would want someone to work for you. NO. NO. NO.
"Yeah not a problem. I'll work 5-9."
And with these words I peeled myself from the couch and took a shower. Now the sociology paper I had been putting off all week would really be crammed into my few hours of time.
I made my way to acoustic cafe. I positioned myself in the corner and tried to observe people in a natural setting. Yeah, this sucked. Normally I love people watching but when one has to write a paper about human behavior in public.. well it kind of takes the fun out of it. And so I sat for an hour. As I wrapped up my notes and made my way to the car I promised myself that I would go home and begin to write my two page rough draft that is due tomorrow.
Yeah, we all know that didn't happen. I blame J.R. Him and his stupid remote control care completely distracted me from starting my paper. This car is noisy, time consuming, and guzzles fuel. But it also goes 55 mph and is highly entertaining to drive around the field in the back of the apartment. I only crashed it four times!
I left for work with not even the opening sentence completed on my rough draft. So now here I sit, computer open, book open, notes all around me, and I'm writing in my blog. I have very little motivation to write this paper. Stupid class.