Some days I look at our life and wonder why this has happened to us.
If this is destiny we were given to many shit cards and I would like us to get a new hand.
If one believes in karma than somewhere in life we really fucked up and now it's pay back.
If you believe everything happens for a reason, than WHY is this happening. I can't see the bigger picture just yet and I'm getting a little frustrated. What are we suppose to be learning from all of this besides life isn't always fair? What do we do with that knowledge? Make a sign and stand by the side of the road? That will take us far.
And if one believes in God than you have to stop and ask why has He brought us here. Are we being punished for not going to church? Are we suppose to be learning something and passing it on to the rest of the world? A little help here would be nice and I don't see Him handing it out like candy at the moment.
Why J.R.? Why me? Why our family? Why not someone else? It's such a horrible thing to say but it's such an honest feeling.
I want his arm back, and since I can't have that than all I'm asking for is his smile to return. His real smile, not one that he glues on for the world to see. I want him to see himself as I see him. As a husband who is capable of anything. As a complete man. As a whole person. As someone who is intelligent and has so much to give the world.
We've been to hell and we are exhausted from the climb back out. We're both frustrated, and tired, and moody, and pissed off at the world. We fight. We make mistakes. It's life and it keeps moving forward.