Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Theme Song of the Week

This song really sums up life right now. There is so much going on but through it all I have to keep breathing and I have to keep pushing forward.

There are so many conflicts going on inside my head. It can be a challenge to push the thoughts and feelings to the back of my mind and move forward with my responsibilities for the day. If I wasn't able to find a way to bundle them up and hide them when I have to, then the stress that comes from these emotions would be completely debilitating and I would get nothing done.

In the last week, my stress was debilitating. What can I say... I'm not wonder woman (even though I like to think I am).

I hate what has happened to my family. This wasn't suppose to be my family. This was suppose to be the other guy. I hate that I have to sit back and watch J.R. struggle with everything. If it's not a physical struggle, it's a mental one. I hate that I can't help him. I hate that I can't comprehend what he's feeling.

I know that we are still in an adjustment phase and eventually we will settle in. It just seems as if it's taking forever.

*deep breath*

Keep breathing.


FbL said...

"Keep breathing." That's exactly right. Keeping putting one foot forward, then the other.

You can make it. If anybody can, it's you two. If you have run out of "fight" turn to others; they will carry you until you regain your strength.

Lots of love and prayers coming your way...

liberal army wife said...

keep breathing, and if you can, talk to someone. If you don't have a counselor, get one. I know you are fed up with the military and VA bureaucracy, but see if they can give you the name of someone.. and the OK for billing!

Contact the reintegration NCO - they had counselors there on a rotating schedule. The one I used was a great help. I know you don't have a lot of time, but if you can, do it.


Anonymous said...

Dear Josie:

FBL and LAW have said it all. Just know that there are alot of people out here who care about the two of you.

Soldiers Angels, NYC

Anonymous said...

Agree with the others above. The loss you have experienced encompasses all aspects of life. Not just physical, but the loss of hopes and dreams also. Please seek out help is you feel the quicksand in pulling you in. Do it before you become paralyzed with sadness or grief. We all think we're tough and can 'handle' what life throws our way. But good grief Josie, what you and JR are dealing with effects every single part of your lives. Perhaps outside help would help relieve some of the enormous weight on your shoulders. We readers can be here for support you while you bend, we sure don't want to see you break kiddo.
Do whatever it takes to keep that from happening. ((hugs))
Cathy B

Tracy said...

Prayers continue Josie. I don't know what else to say except that I care.