Saturday, November 8, 2008

The Dungeon

Last night I somehow convinced J.R. to let me have my very own office. This sounded like a good idea at the time, but now I've realized I really just have a dungeon in the basement to escape to. Our house is a bijillion years old, the basement is creepy as hell, and the light switch is at the BOTTOM of the steps. One has to clutch the side of the wall and search for the next step that leads you into the pit of darkness. I usually try to get Brutus to run down first, after all, if anything scary was in the basement, I'm sure he would fight it off (haha). So far I haven't fooled him. Even throwing a ball down the steps hasn't convinced Brutus to run down first. And so I take a deep breath, run down the steps as fast as possible, and flip the switch.

Last night I fixed up the room so that it was a bit more inhabitable. I vacuumed the spiders and gave the cement floor it's first cleaning in what I believe to be twenty years. I threw an old rug down that doesn't cover the whole floor, but enough to keep you from walking on cold concrete while you're in the room. J.R. insisted that I keep the shelving in here that has all of his junk stacked on it. I quickly disguised them by taking an old red shower curtain and hanging it from the top wire rack. Now I have one red wall in the midst of all the white painted blocks. After twenty minutes of begging, whining, and completely obnoxious behavior, I was able to convince J.R. to haul my desk down to the basement. He mumbled something under his breath as he carried it down. I'm pretty sure he said something along the lines of "My wife is the most beautiful person in the whole world, I love her more than anything." At least that's what I'm going to pretend he said. With the addition of my desk, my desk chair, and the basket chair, I've made a comfortable place to study. Sure it's freezing cold, really creepy, and there are no windows, but it's my OWN space. It provides me a place to stumble in peace.

Speaking of stumble...

With a research paper that is close to being due, I have been cramming in all sorts of reading on Hmong culture (it's much more fascinating that I make it sound). In an act of procrastination, I have been hitting the stumble button for about the last 40 minutes. I just happened to stumble upon this honest list and couldn't help but share. Thanks to whatever random site had this posted...

How to write a paper in college/university:

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in front of your computer.

2. Log onto MSN and ICQ (be sure to go on away!). Check your email.

3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.

4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some chocolate to help you concentrate.

5. Check your email.

6. Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go to grab a coffee. Just to get settled down and ready to work.

7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lit place.

8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.

9. Check your email.

10. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.

11. Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

12. Grab some mp3z off of kazaa.

13. Check your email. ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR YET?!

14. MSN chat with one of your friends about the future. (ie summer plans).

15. Check your email.

16. Listen to your new mp3z and download some more.

17. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory emarks about your prof, thecourse, the college, the world at large.

18. Walk to the store and buy a pack of gum. You've probably run out.

19. While you've got the gum you may as well buy a magazine and read it.

20. Check your email.

21. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV.

22. Play some solitare (or age of legends!).

23. Check out

24. Wash your hands.

25. Call up a friend to see how much they have done, probably haven't started either.

26. Look through your housemate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.

27. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.

28. Check to see if has been updated yet.

29. Check your email and listen to your new mp3z.

30. You should be rebooting by now, assuming that windows is crashing on schedule.

31. Read over the assignment one more time, just for heck of it.

32. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

33. Lie face down on the floor and moan.

34. Punch the wall and break something.

35. Check your email.

36. Mumble obscenities.

37. 5am - start hacking on the paper without stopping. 6am -paper is finished.

38. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write that stupid paper.

39. Go to class, hand in paper, and leave right away so you can take a nap.

I'm sure at some point I'll finish the paper, but it's not due till Tuesday. Until then I'll just stay in my dungeon listening to Jack Johnson and checking my facebook pages every three minutes.


Mary said...

If I didn't love you before, "Stumble" is the coolest thing ever. I will love you for all time for introducing me to it. ZOMG I already have a headache from laughing.

Also, that is totally how I wrote papers in college. Minus the sun-coming-up thing. I slept thru dawn. Always.

Anonymous said...

I got your voicemail the other day. I didn't return your call because I'm "so busy studying for the CPA exam" - aka checking facebook every three minutes, reading your blog, getting some ice cream, going to the bathroom when I don't even have to pee (just in case, b/c I wouldn't want to have to get up once I've started studying), reading lyrics to that song I heard for the first time on the radio the other day, and the list goes on. Kudos for hanging out in the basement alone - we all know I wouldn't even go down the stairs. Hopefully the ghost sticks to the main level!


Anonymous said...

Oh gosh, the 'how to write a paper' list sure brings back memories of Madison. After going through many of the listed procrastinations, our favorite was leaving the studies behind and walking to the doughnut factory, end result being the infamous freshman 15. Stumbleupon is quite a site. Good luck with the paper and acclimating to your new cubby hole!

Cathy B