Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Tofu Anyone?

I woke this morning feeling as though someone kicked me in the head a couple of times while I was sleeping. My head is pounding. After the initial shock of waking up in pain, I rolled over to the empty side of the bed that is normally reserved for my husband. Once again he slept on the couch. Not because of an argument, but because he is obsessed with sleeping on the couch lately. Seriously... do I smell bad or something?

I walked out to the living room and made an attempt to curl up with him on the leather sofa. I slide off in the first minute. The sound of me hitting the floor made him open his eyes long enough to look at me and say, "Jo, give it up... your booty is to big to fit on the couch with me." Feel the love.

With my head still pounding I made my way to the kitchen. Whenever I have a headache J.R.'s first words are "you're dehydrated.. drink some water." Sometimes he is so predictable. Well today I've downed three large glasses of water so this time he can't say it. Oh.. and my head still hurts. It's time to find the tylenol.

Moving on...

For Christmas this year I was fortunate to receive a whole bunch of cookbooks as well as a subscription to Rachel Ray's magazine. For the last week or so I've been combing through recipes, marking things I'd like to try. Being on break I have more time than usual to make a mess in the kitchen so I've been determined to try new meals. The week started off with sweet potato, black bean, tortilla things. It sounded a lot better then it actually tasted or looked. It was not a hit. Next came the beer beef stew. Big hit. Even the leftovers are gone. Then last night... I made my first attempt at polenta.

"What the hell are you doing Jo?! This is a kitchen... not a science lab. I'm not eating that. That's disgusting. No. No No No."

Mental note.. no polenta for J.R.

After dinner we sat on the couch watching Cops (I happen to be obsessed with the show... I'm letting the redneck in me shine through). While watching the officer arrest the cross dresser with a warrant I flipped through the pages on my new Martha Everyday Cookbook (it has pictures!). I sat there with my post it notes marking all the pages that had recipes to try.

"J.R. how do you feel about tofu?"

"If God wanted us to eat tofu he wouldn't have made animals so tasty."

"So you're saying no tofu is that correct."

"Jo... kitchen.. not science lab."

"J.R. it might be really good. Look at the picture. The picture looks good. I'd eat the picture if I could."

"Jo..... GIVE IT UP."

*page turn*

"Ok if tofu is out how about parsnip soup?"

*long pause*

"Can't you just make the normal stuff?"

After giving J.R. a big speech about trying new things I had to listen to his speech about how long he had been drinking red powerade. If red powerade is still working for him then so is mac and cheese out of the box. This must be a man thing.

As for now the time is slowly creeping closer towards noon and sleeping beauty is still dominating my couch. I think it's time to go wake him up.


Sailorette said...

You are an amazing woman and I applaud your strength and courage. I wish you only best in the future. I have really enjoyed reading your posts, so keep them coming!

Kat said...

I feel your pain... I just adore cooking and getting receipies for all kinds of cool stuff. My family on the other hand? eh, not so much.

Jenna said...

Kitchens are science labs.... they just need beakers..... we can get you some beakers. And besides he will like some recipes and he will be glad you have more then spaghetti and tomato sauce to eat every night

Anonymous said...

Dear Josie:

My sympathies. My wife is consistently complaining about my efforts in the kitchen, and only wants me to make certain meals (and by the way, I'm a good cook).

I'll also state, for the record, that if there is anyone on this earth that makes a better cheesecake than I do, I have yet to meet that person. It's a slice of heavan on a plate. Would you like some of my cake recipes? I also make a mean baked challah french toast, if you're of a mind.

Soldiers Angels, NYC

Kris, in New England said...

For the most part, men hate change. Not just in their meals either. Start slowly and build up to the new stuff...if you make it a gradual change he won't notice so much.

That said, I do have to agree with J.R. on the tofu thing. Ick.

Mary said...

Not to be an alarmist... but my ex-husband grew an unhealthy fascination in sleeping on the couch in the months leading up to the dissolution of my marriage. He never had a good reason for it, but I had my suspicians. :(

Anonymous said...

So your culinary creativity is being thwarted by the ol' meat and potato curmudgeon. Kris probably has the right idea, start slowly. Good luck!
Sleeping on the couch? Sleeping OK or restless and bad dreams? Hope the VA counseling is helping.
Take care and keep the wind beneath you wings.
Cathy B

Anonymous said...

Kris has the right idea slow introduce new things. Take the normal stuff and punch it up a notch. Took a hamburger plain no toppings, baked chicken no seasonings person to someone who will at least try most things, took several years though.

When trying new things have the pizza delivery number handy just in case, as some things are better to read than to eat.


Josie said...

J.R. managed to cut one of his meds out, but this meant he had to go back on Lyrica to cope with pain. It's the lesser of the two evils but it makes him a space cadet (his words) and he becomes very restless. He spends the night tossing and turning leaving us both sleepless. We're looking at finding him another pain control method. Side effects suck. It's a good thing the couch is comfy.

FbL said...

RPL, I can make a better cheescake. :D

But it's not me, it's the recipe. If you want it, email me (although I may put it on my website).

John of Argghhh! said...

Jo - thank you thank you thank you for this line: watching the officer arrest the cross dresser with a warrant.

Even if I am using it waaaay out of context.

Minicapt said...

If he remains obdurate and refuses "innovative" foods, you might check here for genuine old-timers recipes: http://historicaltrekking.com/forums/viewforum.php?f=4


Anonymous said...

One must start slowly with what
one's spouse considers 'normal.'

I am from California. Fusion.
Many cultures.

My husband is from Pennsylvania.
Dutch country. Boooorrrriiiinggg.
Not without redeemable qualities,
but from a foodie standpoint,
PA in the eighties was predictable
in spite of the fabulous Amish

After 22 years of marriage, my husband refuses to eat his mother's cooking, and won't allow
her in our kitchen without adult
supervision when she has visited.

Might I suggest 'Cook's Illustrated?' One of the best
cooking geek type magazines and their recipe for macaroni and cheese made my children forswear
the boxed stuff forever...to the
point of THEM making it from scratch themselves...it is that
good, as is everything CI does.

Their beef tacos are a much requested item, as is the chicken
fried steak, chicken ceasar salad,
chicken pie and other items.

Hang in there.

FbL said...

Josie, if the commenter above is who I suspect it is, take her advice. She is an extraordinary cook. And a very wise woman. :)

Mary said...

Josie I still think JR is a massive prick, and you deserve much better than what he gives you. I think you should become an East Coast transplant like Mary did! And look how good she's doing!

- Brian.
(Double below knee amputee from Iraq. For all you people who don't know...)