Monday, September 17, 2007

Case of the Mondays

The alarm went off at 6:45 this morning. I was not a happy camper. I wanted nothing more than to tear the plug from the wall and throw the alarm clock across the room. It's Monday, what do you expect? I resisted the urge and got out of bed and left for class.

Sociology was beyond boring this morning. Chapter two in our soc book talks about experiments and the ethical way to go about studying people. Blah blah blah.... the same thing that you talk about in science class all through high school. It felt like a very slow and painful review of my four years at PHS. So today I sat in class on my laptop and got things accomplished online. I paid my license plate renewal, checked my bank account, and of course checked my myspace account. It would be criminal to let it go untouched. I survived the hour (barely) and ran off to "Pilate's on crack."

Aerobics was, as always, a long hour. I dread going to the class everyday but I love how I feel afterwards. And I must say it really is getting me in shape. I have more energy and I can already see a difference in my weight. It's nice to be able to fit into my work clothes once again.

After aerobics I came home. I had just walked in the door when my phone rang. It was work. Somehow they didn't have anyone schedules to work in shoes and asked if I could come in. I agreed to come in for a few hours so I jumped in the shower and got all dressed up. I arrived at work around 11:30 and by 1:30 I was ready to cry. Every time I walk in the door I'm overwhelmed at work. Everything is different. Everything. The computers, the stock room, the stock. I don't know anything anymore and I can't remember how to do basic things. You would think after working forty hours a week for over a year that these basic tasks would be permanently pressed into my brain. It just doesn't work that way. I use to be able to multitask and manage six or seven people at a time if I had to. Now I can maybe work with three people tops. It's frustrating.

On top of being overwhelmed and stressed out at work I am constantly having customers walk up to me and ask questions about where I've been. I must admit that it is flattering to have people remember me. I mean seriously, I sell shoes. They see me for maybe fifteen minutes when they stop in and shop. Many of them simply say welcome back, nice hair cut, we've missed you, and so on. A few of them have asked if everything is ok. One customer even mentioned she saw me on tv. It is this constant stream of customers that once again reminds me that I've been gone for nine months. Nine months. That's a really long time. I've found myself tearing up at work a couple of times. Once I had to walk off the floor to compose myself. I'm blown away by how much these people care for a person they hardly know.

I left work at 1:30. I just couldn't make it through the day. I don't know if it was just a mental block or what. I hate that I had to leave and I hate even more that I'm so stressed out when I walk in the doors. It's not fun. It's retail. This job shouldn't be this stressful. It's just not worth it.

I came home and made tuna noodle casserole. It sounded like good comfort food. J.R. arrived home shortly after me and together we sat down and complained about life. He's been so insanely busy with school. I feel as though we see each other without actually SEEING each other. We're both so busy with studying and working and doing our own thing that quality time together is lacking. It sucks. We took a nap on the couch together this evening. My phone, which was quiet all day, rang about thirty times during the nap... go figure. But a nap is a nap and I enjoyed it.

As for the rest of my night, I will be researching The Sword of Damocles. Interesting story, you should google it. I will be writing a four to six minute speech about this story. Not a hard thing to do for someone who likes to stand in front of people and ramble.


Tracy said...

I'm sorry work is so stressful but I am glad you and J.R. got to nap on the couch together.

I remember when I was first married. The hubby was working full-time, I was going to school full-time and working part-time. We passed each other like ships in the night. We were together in bed when we were both passed out!

This time will pass and you will be getting on each other's nerves with all the time you spend together someday LOL

prophet said...

I think maybe the reason things are stressful is because you care. I would be a lot more worried if you didn't. . . . And we both know that things will get easier with just a bit of time. It's the sticking with it that's the hard part. And that's the part you're really doing well with - no matter how bad it feels. You go, girl!

Off now to put my 'sermon to the choir' into practice. I did NOT stick with it myself yesterday. Thank God I have to today to try and do better.

liberal army wife said...

give yourself a break! you have been working your self ragged at Walter Reed, and now you are trying to start so many things all over again! take a breath, work at what you can and remember to snuggle with JR when you can..Be good to yourself dear.