Thursday, September 13, 2007

Silent Suffering

I walk beside my husband, my place I will not leave.
I must not talk or make a sound, for I'm not to be seen.

I have no thoughts that are my own, no opinions that are heard.
I am just a caretaker for one injured soldier.

His arm is gone, a finger too, God damn the EFP.
I can't forgive the tortured souls who placed the evil deed.

I leave the life I know behind to go be by his side.
I love him and I'll care for him until the end of time.

My flesh is free of cuts and scars, my limbs are all intact.
But my mind is overwhelmed, my dreams confirm the facts.

I wont forget the nights he cried and held my hand in pain.
The memories are part of me, they're etched into my brain.

Reporters come, reporters go, all asking the same questions.
How has J.R. coped with all the trauma and depression?

They turn to me and then they ask what I have come to dread;
You must be proud, but life has changed. Do you still love this man?

If my actions do not scream the truth then I am lost for words.
How could you ever doubt my love for my fearless soldier?

Don't bother asking if I have my job still back at home.
For who would want to hear my worries that you've now condoned.

I past a smile to my face and play the perfect wife.
America will watch and say, "They've overcome their strife."

My country does not see my pain or hear my cries for help.
For I am just a lowly wife who suffers by herself.

11 comments:

prophet said...

sigh. . .

Here's wishing you the best, Josie. You're facing some hard stuff. And you've already found that everyone has their own idea of what your answer oughta be. You know how it goes, though: ask and it'll be answered; seek, find; knock and it'll be opened. It usually takes a while, though.

Meanwhile, keep asking, looking - and writing!

Anonymous said...

Dear Josie:

There will always be a group of people who are willing to help and support you, starting with your family.

As I've remarked before, there appears to be no shortage of people who read your blog who are always willing to lend comfort and support. If there's anything that you need, please let us know, and we'll help you out.

RPL
Soldiers Angels, NYC

joyce said...

What would you like to hear reporters ask? What would you have us say? You have been dwelt a hard blow, and I am sorry you are ignored. Handle reporters with humor or be armed with a sarcastic jab. Or plant seeds, like ideas, and you may not see the harvest, but know you feed the next generation. Think of all the wives like you. Reach out and find and hold them. Only they can look you in the eye and mean it that they know exactly what you feel, and then you can compare what works for them, and share what works for you. For yours is a hard earned wisdom.

Thank you for being honest, and sharing--- helping us be better---we want to be part of the solution, not more of a burden

FbL said...

For I am just a lowly wife who suffers by herself.

No you are not. You are a woman of amazing strength who has gotten this far, even though you are now ragged and torn inside. And you are NOT alone. Just say the word and I can put you in touch with half a dozen women who know EXACTLY what you've done and what you're doing through.

Hang in there, dear one. *hugs*

Andi said...

Agree with FbL, you are amazing and strong.

I'm sorry I didn't get to see you guys again before you/we left Washington. Things got a bit hectic with the PCS move. I'm really sorry I wasn't able to meet Sue. You and JR remain in my thoughts and prayers.

liberal army wife said...

Josie - you aren't Just anything.. except a strong young woman who has had to go through more than anyone should, young or old. You are a bright and shining example to everyone. From a fellow Red Bull wife, I must say you are an exceptional lady, and JR is a lucky guy... right JR?

LAW

Marine Wife said...

As the other ladies have said, despite how it might feel, you are not alone. You are an amazing woman and JR is lucky to have you and your support. I'd also say you're not so silent now. :-)
*hugs*

Tracy said...

Josie,

You have been through so much. I'm sure you've run the gamut of emotions. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for!!

Lemon Stand said...

I think that the theme song for milspouses should be 'Lean On Me'.

I can't believe that I can say anything to you that hasn't been expressed before. I can tell you that you have a sisterhood that is waiting... anxious actually, to help in any way we can because we all realize that tomorrow, it may likely be one of us or our own that needs help in carrying on.

Many prayers and good wishes for you, your husband, and your family.

"There are only two ways to live your life: One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as if everything is." Albert Einstein (1879-1955) German born American Physicist

Mary said...

One of the organizations in Mass that we've been talking to is starting a "Wounded Warrior's Wives" group. I've more or less decided to volunteer to head it up - nobody else has seemed interested in it yet.

(hug) Sorry I'm so hard to get a hold of. Life is insane.

I Admire Your Strength said...

Powerful.