Friday, August 24, 2007


I woke up this morning, pulled back the curtains, and to my surprise the sun was shining. Today is one of the days that I remember why I love living in Wisconsin. It's not to hot, not to cold, no humidity, and there is just a slight breeze. The sky is dotted with big white fluffy clouds. For the first time I am able to sit outside and enjoy my new patio furniture.

Sitting outside for the first time since I've been home has been an interesting experience. With the pine tree missing from the corner of my apartment, I now have a clear view of the neighboring apartments. I've been out here for a little over an hour now watching my neighbors come and go. With the upcoming school year quickly approaching there are many new faces. Students are pouring back into town, both a welcomed site and an annoyance. Our quiet little town will soon once again be crowded with cars. Wal-Mart will be even more packed, the lines will be longer, and the cereal aisle will be picked over. Yes, even at twenty I'm still concerned about the cereal aisle.

It's been a roller coaster week. We are both so excited to be home. But home brings stress and stress creates short tempers. The cleaning and sorting process seems to be taking an eternity. I am now just starting to feel as though we have made a dent in the boxes. There is paperwork everywhere. My files are in desperate need of attention. Being in D.C. for so long means I have eight months of utility bills in one bin and the rest in my home files. Everything needs to be meshed into one again. A process that is trying on anyone's patience.

J.R. has cut way back on his meds. Withdrawal is miserable. Both for him and for me. His temper flares easily and I'll admit, he is a little scary when he gets going. I'm trying to stay patient with him as I know he can't control everything going on in his life. But that isn't always easy. With weddings coming up left and right over the next month or so I can't help but think of the advice everyone loves to give. "Don't go to bed angry." That's a load of bullshit. I personally am a huge fan of shutting my mouth, going to sleep, and waking up with a fresh start. If there is one thing I've learned in the last couple months, it's better to say nothing than to say something you'll regret.


Tracy said...

"it's better to say nothing than to say something you'll regret."

Oh I agree. There have been times we've gone to bed saying "I love you, but I do not LIKE you much right now. We'll talk tomorrow" b/c we were both just to tired to deal with the issue anymore.

Hang in there Josie!

Anonymous said...

Dear Josie:

I know it's hard to hear this, but it will get better. Everything seems tougher after you've been away from home for a while, but just keep barreling through and it'll be ok.

Regarding cereal, don't feel ashamed; I still eat cereal too, and I'm 48 and change.

Finally, if things get too stressful, close your eyes, breathe deeply, count to ten, and visualize putting the head of the object of your frustration in a vise and squeezing it. Just kidding.

Soldiers Angels, NYC

Anonymous said...

Glad you have sunshine up there. We're builing an ark down here!

Hang in there, coming off the meds will be tough.
Cathy B

Bob said...

Sometimes the only way to heed the advice not to go to sleep angry is by staying up all night. And my bride (of 30 years) and I aren't at our best when we get sleep deprived.

Angry or not, you'll still be married in the morning and you can deal with problems better when you're rested. (And keep telling yourself, "Still being married is a good thing.")